There is a predator you cannot see but has preyed on all of us. It can come at any time and nestle inside your brain. Its attacks can be quick or they can be long, and what’s worse, there is nothing we can do about it.
Get out of my head Grohl!
It’s 6 am on a Saturday morning and I am uncharacteristically awake. I don’t intend to be and the source of my discomfort is internal. I have an Earworm. No, not some strange parasitic aftermath of a childish prank during an alcohol fuelled evening before, or the result of a jungle expedition in some Asian outpost, but a Foo Fighter sponsored pest.
There is little known about why or where Earworms come from, but my friends now, at the very least, you have a name to put to that annoying loop going round and round in your head. Also known as INMI (involuntary musical imagery) the cause, and hopefully cure, for one of the brains more annoying phenomena is now very gradually being investigated. It’s neither a musician nor a psychologist that leads the way though: it’s a Professor of Marketing. We may be doomed.
Prof. James Kellaris of the University of Cincinnati has been dubbed Dr. Earworm after his extensive studies into the subject have placed him firmly as the worlds leading expert. His definition of ‘catchy’ music has led him to conclude that anything can become an earworm, can affect anyone, and can last for any period of time. Hardly the kind of conclusions needed to be backed up by thorough research; I’m starting to wonder where the title ‘Dr.’ came from.
Some interesting results have surfaced though. For instance a distinct group of peoples surfaced as much more susceptible to suffering the dreaded curse. Women topped the list, as did musicians and individuals prone to worry, leaving little hope to nervous female troubadours, but plenty to the relaxed traffic warden. Out of all this one question arises: Does a person who has been deaf all their life suffer from Earworms?
Help is at hand though. Kind of. Whilst there is no sure-fire method for cure there are suggested methods. Distraction seems to be heading the list, although I’ve tried distracting myself with sleep and this seems to have failed dramatically, so much so I’ve now resorted to counting Drave Grohl-faced sheep. Another technique is listening to the entire offending piece of music, but scratching this ‘cognitive itch’ can just lead to angering the poor little creature further.
So it would seem that we are fated with this affliction for some time to come. Forever more we are blighted into humming through ‘Always Look on the Brightside of Life’ as we exit the funeral, or waking up next to our better-half whistling a section from that catchy little ditty heard at our other better half’s cocktail party the night before. As repetition seems to be the characteristic for this most felonious of offenders it would seem that the new Foo Fighter track is destined to keep me awake for some time. If only I could find a way to distract myself, anyone up for a chorus of ‘It’s a Small World’ near City General’s anxiety ward?
